Keeping It Raw and Real

Ladies Lounge
Bernadette O'Connor 24.07.2014. 0

If you like it real and raw then read on!

Like many others, I often share photos on social media of my children, and of me sharing a beautiful moment with my children.

What I don’t ever share are some of the other realities of being a mother. The ones that we don’t really want the world to see!

As an example, you won’t see me posting:

‘So, my precious daughter just threw a lemon at my head and yelled I hate you, you’re ruining my life’, OR

‘Hey I just lost my shiz so badly with my kids that I had to close all the windows because I feared the neighbours might ring the police’ OR

‘I’m sitting alone on the lounge because I’ve sent my kids to their bedroom because I can’t stand them being around me anymore’ OR

‘I just pulled the car over and told my kids to get out because I can’t handle the constant demand on me’.

No, you won’t see me posting these things!

Why?

Well, for the same reason that you don’t post them. Because I don’t want you to know my reality – my reality of being a mother!

I don’t want you to know that at times I feel like I’m failing my children, that I’m inadequate, that I feel trapped and want to run, that I’m disengaged from my children, that I get angry – I mean really really angry.

I don’t want you to know that being a mother exhausts me, that it completely drains me and I have nothing left in my tank and I resent my children and my husband for it.

I don’t want you to know, so I silently and shamefully suffer in my struggle.

About two months ago, I sat with tears streaming down my face as I read the story of a mother who had died with her husband and two children.

A story of a murder suicide.

A story of a mother who had two children with significant needs.

A story of a mother who was at the centre of the school, who bent over backwards for her children, who seemingly had it all together.

Yet within days, the truth started to unfold. This was the story of a mother.

A mother who was struggling.

A mother who feared she was failing her children.

A mother who felt trapped by her life.

A mother who felt completely inadequate.

A mother who was completely exhausted by being a mother.

But she didn’t let it show. She didn’t let the world know. She put on THE FACE – you know the one!

The one you see at playgroup or school pick up – the one that says, ‘Yep I’m great – I’ve got it all together’.

Why?

Because for the same reasons as I outlined above, we don’t want others to know that we are not OK, that we are not coping…so we polish it up and hide it away and suffer in silence!

The silent shameful struggle of being a mother!

BUT…..please believe me when I say, you can change.

You don’t need to struggle as a mother.

You can find calmness and confidence in being a mother and a beautiful connection to your children.

How do I know this?

I know because I did it.

I changed from struggling enormously as a mother, which I have previously written about (link to Blog Post Finding Me) to the place I am now as a mother. One where I more often than not feel calm, where I feel I’m doing a pretty good job, where I don’t feel overwhelmed by it all, where I flow with it, where I feel confident and where I feel so beautifully connected to my children.

And I’m proud of myself for changing!

And I’m proud of the mother that I have become.

But here’s the thing, as a Kinesiologist I have an enormous toolkit to use which has assisted me in getting to this point – in changing the way that I experience being a mother.

And I use these tools most days….(most!)…..some days I don’t and guess what, some days things go pear shaped, but I’m actually OK when that happens now, because I know tomorrow is a new day and I am confident that I can navigate my way through that new day using all the tools that I have available to me – and go to bed satisfied with who I am, particularly the mother that I am!

As I read those articles about the mother and her struggle, tears streamed from my eyes, and I knew right then that I could help other mums free themselves from being in that space.

I had the tools to help mothers experience it differently and I decided then and there that I would share them with you!

So for the next few days, I will be posting a series of videos, to share with you some very simple techniques that will help you release some of the overwhelming emotions that you can experience as a mother.

They are simple yet powerful in releasing emotions and in changing that moment in time, that has the potential to throw into mayhem your whole day!

So over the next few days, please keep checking this page for my Emotional Releasing Tips for all you beautiful mumma’s out there!

I know you, because I am just like you! I’ve been there but I’ve come out the other side and I would love to guide you into the space that I am in as a mother – cause it feels SO MUCH NICER!

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